I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
