people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
