last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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