Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
