so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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