it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
