this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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