Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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