She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
