I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
