Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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