One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
