your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Randomize
