My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I've blown a few things in my day
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
