just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize