we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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