How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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