I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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