so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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