Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
