how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
