she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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