I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
