there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
