I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
