you would pick up someone in the library
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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