You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize