What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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