my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize