Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
