she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
