Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
