Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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