I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
