thus making me awesome and them whores
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
