She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
