so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
