READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
