sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
jump out the window naked night went bad
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