how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
