Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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