You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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