why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
