Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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