Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
