You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
