shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
