wanna go halves on a baby?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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