Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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