You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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