Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
