Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
