You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
