I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize