wrigley field is MILF paradise
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
