im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
