He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
