just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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