Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize