Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me too!
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
