Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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